whiskey-memories:

bras are so expensive like i didn’t choose the boob life the boob life chose me

whorville:

I’m trying to get back to my original weight of 6 pounds and 11 ounces

hunters-in-the-sherlocked-tardis:

gatzzby:

hannahsneakers:

why don’t they have big hyped up award shows for books

i mean

best male/female character

best antagonist

best plot development

best plot twist

come on

#book you threw across the room the hardest

scene that made you cry so hard you had to put the book down because you couldn’t see anything through your tears

eleanorjanestyle:

i hate when i lose things at school like my pencils and papers and life ambitions

rachelisaflameprincess:

bendydicks:

considerthishippie:

Instead of just looking up into the sky, you’re actually gazing down into the infinite cosmic abyss, with only gravity holding you onto the surface of the earth.

oh

i was not prepared for that

sherlockismysuicidenote:

slutsy:

i told my duck he looked like a loaf of bread 

this was his response 

WHY DO YOU HAVE A DUCK

senpai-has-noticed-you:

sometimes i think i’m arrogant but then i remember that julius caesar was kidnapped by cicilian pirates and when they demanded a ransom of 620 kgs of silver he got mad because he thought he was worth more than that and made them raise it to 1550 kg